By INIGO 'NAUGHTY' ZENICAZELAYA
“Silly Season” is officially open, so let this week’s column serve as notice.
I’m back to doing what I do, reminding you politicos, it’s open season, be very careful of what you say.
The eyes and ears of the nation are wide open, and the voting populace is wide awake!
So to all you incumbent MPs from the leader of the present administration, right down to a certain “Suspect Senator” in the senate, with gigantic political aspirations.
To the minuscule opposition with, its “Brave” whistle blowing leader (oh the irony) with his illusions of grandeur and all.
Be forewarned, as always I’m only using what you put in the public domain, so if you have a bout of “foot in mouth disease”, it’s on you, let the chips fall where they may.
Now, since you all get a free pass until next week, FNM, PLP, DNA and the rest of the political ‘wannabes’ trying to make a ‘cameo’ in ‘Silly Season’ let’s enjoy a few jokes about the hot topic of the week in Bahamaland...whistles, because next week it’s in, and the jokes on you.
‘WHISTLE’ ONE LINERS
A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached recently by a game warden in Georgia as he started to leave a lake well known for its fish.
The game warden asked the man, “May I see your fishing licence please?”
“Naw, sir,” replied the redneck. “I don’t need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish.”
“Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o’mine down to the lake and let ‘em swim ‘round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take ‘em home.”
“What a line of baloney…you’re under arrest.”
The redneck said, “It’s the truth, Mr Gov’ment man. I’ll show ya! We do this all the time!!”
“WE do, now, do WE?” smirked the warden. “PROVE it!”
The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After a few minutes, the warden said, “Well?”
“Well, WHUT?” said the redneck.
The warden asked, “When are you going to call em back?”
“Call who back?”
“The FISH,” replied the warden!
“Whut fish?” asked the redneck.
• My boss warned me that I shouldn’t blow the whistle in the office anymore. He gave me one last chance.
But unfortunately, I blew it!!
I know, I know it gets worse!
• I bought a wooden whistle...
But it wooden whistle
So I bought a steel whistle...
But it steel wooden whistle
Then I bought a lead whistle...
But it steel wooden lead me whistle!
• I was peeing in the pool and the lifeguard blew his whistle.
Scared me so bad I almost fell in.
• I was walking with my girlfriend when a random guy whistled at her and said “nice ass”. She was clearly annoyed and demanded I say something.
So I turned around and said: “Thank you, I’ve been doing squats.”
Until next week, just as a reminder for you all that ‘Silly Season’ is tiki upon us, I will leave you with a great quote from, legendary comedian Groucho Marx -
“The only problem with political jokes, is they get elected.”
Proceed cautiously Bahamas, stay ‘woke’ and demand better governance, from those that wish to head and serve, moving forward.