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A Comic's View: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

By INIGO ‘NAUGHTY’ ZENICAZELAYA

’Twas the night before Christmas when all through the House,

Every MP was stirring, from “superstar” to “louse.”

The stockings were hung in the smokers’ room with care, obviously “Lanisha” didn’t decorate in there.

Ministers and backbenchers avoided their beds,

As visions of pay raises danced in their heads.

Doc sat in the kitchen, with his brother “Boxer” square on his lap,

Saying

“I got couple folks I ga need you to slap, especially the one talking all that aragonite crap.”

When out of the blue there arose such a clatter,

Then Halston Moultrie appeared, and the whole House began to scatter.

Away to the window Moultrie flew like ‘red flash’,

Tore open the shutters, and prepared for another ‘bathroom’ clash.

The moon peered down on Bahamaland below, as Doc gazed up wondering,

“How that vibe with Peter really does go?”

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear?

Two ex FNM MPs foil in hand, toting plates out of there.

Now the PLP with a ‘Brave’ driver, who’s talks are lively and quick

Popped up saying, “Don’t blame me for Nygard what he allegedly did was sick, but I’ll never see jail, FNM court cases never stick.”

“Now I’m off to find oil and get rich on the slick.”

Brave rode away, like the down of a thistle,

Saying, “These FNMs just as guilty, so you point and I’ll whistle!”

And faster than Sands had to resign,

Doc shouted, “Office of the Spouse, two years in is working just fine!”

“Now Dionisio! Now Jeff!

On Rennie, Carl and Marvin!

“Don’t study Brave, for his leadership our people ain’t starving, and by the way nice suit Marvin”

Meanwhile, peering way across the land, with tons of new popularity firmly in hand,

Kolomafe shouted “The DNA is strong and we shall stand.”

Freddy Mac sprung up, and said, “ I’se speak my mind son!

I’ne scared a none a yinna, ‘cause most of y’all one and done.”

Travis jumped up, and said, “What happened to da Over-da Hill plan, just asking Doc you know you still the man.”

Peter was in the corner, talking his lawyers deaf.

Thinking, “When my team finish, my accuser ain’t ga have nuttin left.”

Doc stood up, his mouth drawn up like a bow.

The new addition of Finance made his hair white as snow!

He started shaking, like a bowl full of jelly,

Saying, “Man, the Press still vex and stay all up in my belly!”

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself,

And slowly put the Mace back on top of the shelf;

The look in his eye, and a droop of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but sat down all forlorn,

Then said, “Dis one called over, next election I probably gone?”

Doc went to bed, and BPL turned out the light –

Merry Christmas everyone, please lock your doors tight.

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